It is all about size!

Having peered into Yelapa Bay for the better part of two and a half years, I have ogled, researched and fantasized over dozens of luxury yachts, sailboats and catamarans.  While my ogling and fantasizing remains ongoing, my research is distinctly purpose served. It reveals a number of disturbing bits-n-bobs. Allow me to elaborate.

Certainly, these vessels are structurally diverse and embody varied attitudes about their interaction with sea. Motor yachts command your respect as a result of sheer size and the mammoth horsepower demanded. The presence of that power reverberates throughout Yelapa Bay heralding an entry. The ensuing ritual, the blasting of air horns, is capable of dislodging mangos from trees and causing coronary distress in iguanas. Perhaps it is an act akin to honking while passing through a tunnel. It is done because it can be. Bows display names which assert the yacht’s aggression over the sea such as Invader, Negotiator or a less than subtle reference to size; Mama Mia. The lengths respectively are: 168’, 57’, and 120’. Any seaman will tell you that there is nothing shabby about a 57’ craft. On its own, the Negotiator appears formidable in our little bay, yep, right up to the moment when one of the “big boys” arrives. At that point, it performs a strategic withdrawal. It is all about size.          

Sailboats are the antithesis of the power yacht. Historically, they harken to long ago days of exploration, extreme confrontation with nature and ultimately a respectful coexistence with a vast foe. The relationship is defined by hard work and mutual respect. Typically their names reflect a whimsical approach to their presence: Scuttlebutt, Vitamin Sea or Nauti Girl.

Catamarans, my personal favorites, occupy a unique space. Under sail, they appear to take flight rather than be bound to the sea. When moored in our bay, they offer the open play space of a forward trampoline; a feature distinct unto themselves. Such names as Humu Humu (a mythical Hawaiian bird), Star Chaser, or Segue reflect their status as both drawn by the winds while anchored by the sea. Frequently they travel in duos or trios as if giant egrets visiting.

A single category remains to address; no it is not the humble kayak. It is the common panga. Immensely seaworthy, these boats are the life blood of rural coastal villages around the world. Yelapa is home to perhaps fifty such vessels.   Virtually all of them bear the name of the owner’s first daughter: Diana, Alexandra, Violeta, Alexa, Yuri, Yesenia, Irena, Mariposa, Norma or Erika. Their naming is intended to acknowledge that it was from the sea we gained life. The giving back, via the panga’s name, returns to the sea the value of that earlier gift. Alas, it is a romantic notion, is it not?

Commercial Break

The seas have been fickle of late. Morning treks are still a good bet. Yelapa Kayak Rentals right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Call Memo to check availability 322 146 5064 (Yelapa cell) yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com or ask you lodging manager for assistance. Happy Paddling.  memo

Vitamin K (kayak)

Remember the last time you woke up and everything just clicked for the rest of the day, well maybe not, but work with me. This morning began with a thunk of Nikki’s muzzle on the bedside while her tail pounded out some predetermined metronome measure on the adjacent plastic tub. The microwave beamed 7:00 a.m. Breakfast and a walk for N brought us in contact with our favorite fresh juice stand and then up into the jungle. There we met Sra. Knolls Garcia and the lovely Ms Kayden enroute to Puerto Vallarta on business. So far so good. N and I return to a steeping half pot of rich, Mexican coffee and our morning play time. Two cups later, and following an online interlude, I’m ready for the world’s best smoothie: papaya, pineapple, banana, granola, honey, Katy yogurt and chia seeds. The blender kicks into puree squared and the entire casita oscillates. I love it. Two tumblers later, I am sated.

The possibility exists that a couple will meet me at Yelapa Kayak Rentals around 10:00 a.m. I depart Casa Azul, personal paddle in tow, loaded beach chair in hand and down the road I amble. Upon arrival, I set up a single yak, should they not show I’ll be set. A half hour past their time, I launch. The water is crystal clear, lending that “see forever” dynamic. My water friendly camera reclines in the ready across my lap. School after school of six inch blue runners shoot by, solitary puffer fish of all sizes coast calmly. I juggle paddle and camera, frequently confusing the two until at last I am poised with the right instrument submerged to produce the desired effect. Since I am still atop my yak, I have no idea in what direction the camera is pointing. I note the influx of small jelly fish into our little bay. They are intriguing in their simple complexity. I thrust the camera into the water; to point and shoot in two or three second intervals hoping to catch something.

I round the cove on the south side of our bay. Even greater aqueous clarity abounds. I spot a three foot wing-span leopard ray distinguished by its white spots on a brown background. This spectacular creature undulates beneath me. My excitement produces neither camera nor results. I paddle on towards The Point. Swells increase but clarity remains. A school of perhaps one hundred beefy bonita, yellow tails breaking the surface, surround me and then rocket past.

I pivot the yak and return to recreate the paddle pools I crafted earlier. Upon re-entering the previously mentioned cove, I spot the leopard ray, and then a second smaller swimming alongside. This time, I know the drill. Camera thrust into the water, pointed at who knows what, let it be, let it be, please!

It was a perfect day to be a yaker in Yelapa.

You can check out the photo results on Yelapa Kayak Rentals FB page.

Commercial Break

Right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) Contact Memo at 322 146 5064 or yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com or ask your lodging manager for assistance. Happy Paddling.  Memo

Retiring in Yelapa--Do I need to speak Spanish?

Anyone who, as a high school freshman, was caused to sit through the first weeks of foreign language class, knows well the meaning of terror. Daily vocabulary lists, regular verbs to conjugate, irregular verbs to conjugate and always looming, the Friday conversations to be composed and presented in front of the class. My high school’s offerings included Spanish, French, German and the ever popular Latin. I sense that the early slogging days in one foreign language classroom were no different than in any of the others. Unlike years later in college, you could not run to the counselor after the first class session and beg to be dropped. You were in for the year, end of discussion.

In retrospect, if you survived the first year, documented by a passing grade, you felt linguistically invincible. And in a moment of temporary insanity, and at your parent’s prodding, you agreed to return the following year for round two. The instruction seemed to make more sense. The terror filter relaxed and the weekly conversations became no big deal. Years three and four were entertaining as we delved into the various cultures of those countries who spoke the language. Fridays became a virtual play day as most of the period was spent singing folk songs. By the end of a two year stint in community college, I racked up another four classes with no intention of ever doing anything with my language skills other than being able to order food in an appropriate phonetic manner from the menu. Post script: I have employed my language skills in some manner on virtually every job, in every location in the world, and now find myself living in a country whose language and culture I studied nearly fifty years ago.

So what does my past have to do with you? You raise a good point. Yelapa is a village of roughly twelve hundred year-round Mexican residents. Americans, meaning those from the United States, have been visiting here since the 1960s. Those locals who are able, send their sons and daughters for multiple year stays with relatives along the western coast. The purpose of their journey is to learn English. Virtually anyone involved with the visiting public, speaks at least a rudimentary form of English. That’s great news for you the tourist. You can buy items in the grocery store, rent kayaks, order dinner and ask directions to the waterfall with nothing more than the language skills you already possess.

Now, having said that; wouldn’t you like to learn a short list of key words in Spanish, just to let the villagers know that you appreciate their culture? As a former teacher in a multi-lingual classroom here is the approach I suggest. Make a list in English of no more than twenty nouns that you will wish to know (i.e. beer, bathroom, beach, table, glass, shirt, pants, etc.). Purchase a basic English-Spanish-English dictionary. On a blank piece of printer paper, draw a picture of the word; across from the picture write the word in Spanish. If you are techno-savey do this on your computer and search .jfs for just the right picture. The more you work with the image and its associated label, the quicker you implant the relationship between the two. Fold the paper lengthwise down the middle. Now you can use the paper to quiz yourself. Go back and forth, picture to word, word to picture.  English should not appear on the page at all, period. Treat this as a reference sheet, carry it with you, retrieve it whenever you think of it.  Add to this list the basics of hola (hello), adios (good bye), gracias (thank you), and buenos dias/tardes/noches (morning/afternoon/night) and you are good to go. If you need to create a question using one of your listed nouns, simply raise your voice inflection following the word. For example, you want to ask Where is the beach? Simple, the noun is playa, your question becomes “playa?” When you master that page, make another based on whatever category you desire (household items, kitchen/table settings, anything).If it works, tell me and a friend; if it doesn't--tell me.

For those of you desiring more structured awareness, there are two individuals who offer tutoring type opportunities here in Yelapa. There are computer driven language programs. Some of these are free. Don’t we frequently hear that learning a foreign language in your golden years is a great antidote to “Old Timer’s Disease?” Come, learn, stay healthy!!! What’s not to like?    

Retiring in Yelapa--Health Care

The availability of medical care/attention is something most people feel should be a right. So you’re thinking, why would anyone in their proper mind move to a remote Mexican village, forty-five minutes away from the availability of medical care/attention. I thought you’d never ask.

Yelapa is the proud home of a spacious medical clinic managed by Seguro Popular, a Mexican health insurance company. Think of it as an urgent care facility. The clinic offers a professional staff of two medical doctors and a certified nurse. All minor medical issues can be addressed on the spot. Major medical issues are referred to Puerto Vallarta. Although there is pre-natal care offered plus a birthing room, deliveries are not currently performed. Locals and visitors are welcomed. I have yet to hear of a visitor being turned away or asked to pay for any service provided. Should major emergency care be needed after 6p.m., it would require your being transported to Puerto Vallarta on a designated emergency panga. Having sought medical attention at the clinic on two occasions, I know the staff to be professional, courteous and abundantly helpful. I leave a donation with the receptionist.

Despite being a city of a quarter million people, Puerto Vallarta offers the medical opportunities typically seen in cities many times its size. As a result of substantially lesser patient fees, PV has become a major destination for medical tourism. This label stretches well beyond elective surgeries. It includes dental work plus all types of medical consultations with practitioners from virtually every specialty field imaginable. It is not uncommon for doctors in the Western United States to maintain offices in Puerto Vallarta.

The primary focus is serving the medical needs of the North American traveler. The reception areas/consultation areas and the caliber of professional service provided is nothing shy of what you would expect at a five star hotel. Once again, my wife and I have enjoyed appointments in three of the four major facilities. Average cost for a consultation with the practitioner = 500 pesos ($40 USD).

The hospital names and websites appear below. I urge you to spend time with each. If you have ongoing medical issues or are certain of an upcoming medical event, each hospital invites your inquiry as to the extent of service provided and the associated costs. They are in alphabetical order:

     
         Hospital Amerimed (www.amerimed.com.mx)

               Hospital CMQ         (www.hospitalcmq.com )

         Hospital Medasist    (www.hospitalmedasist.com)

         Hospital San Xavier (www.sanjavier.com.mx)

Dental health is a key component of well being. Puerto Vallarta is likewise home to a number of dental practices which cater to the North American traveler. Both of us feel that the level of service provided by the professional staff at Just Smiles meets or surpasses anything which we experienced across the border. Typical cleaning by the dentist runs 350 pesos ($28 USD).

One last resource you might consider whether relocating or just vacationing. Pamela Thompson, a former nurse of many years in California’s Central Valley, runs an operation akin to what we would call a health services discount card. For a modest premium she will provide a raft of services on your behalf (file keeping, appointments, lab work follow-up, insurance form translation and submission, plus she holds an annual health fair attended by a huge portion of the Banderas Bay ex-pat community—at no cost to the attendee). Many of Puerto Vallarta’s medical practitioners actually have a presence in the exhibit hall. In addition, the doctors within her “network” offer lesser fees to Pamela’s members. She receives no compensation from them. All of her income is derived from the sale of memberships.  We are both members and have used her referral system extensively. It is invaluable to enjoy that level of contact. Her primary website appears below:

Health Care Resources     (http://healthcareresourcespv.com/home.html)

A word about your existing insurance. Check to see if it covers you while traveling internationally. Is there a limit on the number of days you can be away from your home country? Ask about the procedure for filing a claim should you require medical services abroad. As I mentioned in a former post, Medicare will not reimburse you for medical expenses incurred outside of the USA. The Veteran’s Administration does have a product for international travelers but you cannot be out of the USA for more than thirty consecutive days. Find out before you travel. Pamela Thompson can answer your questions about Mexican medical insurance.

On occasion copied web links will not work properly when embedded into a word document. Should that turn out to be the case, I offer my apologies. Simply do a search under the name of the entity and identify Puerto Vallarta. You’ll get there. Lastly, if I have identified that a medical entity “caters” to the North American traveler that simply means that virtually everyone involved is fluent in English. Now, you can take a breath.  

Diversity

My online thesaurus suggests these synonyms for the word “diversity:” variety, assortment, multiplicity, range, miscellany and mixture. The antonym is uniformity. For those of us not averse to diversity, due to either genetic/political reasons, this factor arises as yet another positive point for me living in Yelapa.

In passing, Mexico knows well the concept of racism; hence the continued distinction drawn between Hispanic (those with fair complexions who trace their lineage directly back to Spain); Mexican (those people who resulted from the blood mixing of Spanish and indigenous peoples—mestizos); and lastly, and perceived most lowly, the dark-skinned, pure blooded indigenous people.

Gaze, without staring, into the faces of Yelapa and you identify all of these. Each is a caricature, a piece of art, a multi-generational story book. Skin tones run the gamut of pale white to deep brown. Unique facial features are discernible within each of the four original families. There are short ones, tall ones, fat ones, skinny ones. Our village includes men dedicated to imbibing continuous offerings to their patron saint; Santa Corona or San Pacifico or Santa Tequila. There are a few, both in the village and on the main beach, who enhance their earnings through the sale of contraband substances. From time to time there is a village thief. Whenever something is stolen, the affected party, or their landlord, knows where to go. If the event is serious, the police are summoned and the individual is incarcerated, again. Aside from a few vendors, we have one elderly beggar lady who quietly asks for help. Her walking stick’s tap-tap-tap announces her. There is a mentally challenged adult. She intimidates no one, and asks for nothing. She can be seen periodically resting on various benches throughout the village. And lastly, we even have a village bully (no not the guy with the boat) who like Punxsutawney Phil infrequently exits self-imposed isolation to pitch the latest barrel of bile. We are a village of diversity.

What is the point of this background narrative? Is it to expose the entirety of Yelapa soiled linen? No, my dedicated readers, it is not. Amongst the collage of individuals mentioned above are countless hard working laborers, doctors, craftsmen, water taxi captains, fishing boat captains, pangueros, teachers, students, market operators, waiters, cooks, guides, housekeepers, gardeners, kayak rental chaps, fresh anything (cheese, fruit, chicken, bread, fish) deliverers, restauranteurs, lodging managers, baggage transporters AND the two internationally renowned Yelapa Pie Ladies. We are a village of diversity.   

          

Many of us have lived, some still live, in compounds of homogeneity. It is a personal choice. Then there are we few, we different few who thrive on the diverse humans who brush our shoulder, wave hello, call out from their door ways or simply smile. They are neither tall nor short, slender nor fat, pale nor dark; they are simply diverse.  This is the Yelapa I share.

Retiring in Yelapa--What size budget do I need?

The above inquiry, above all others, drives the quests of silver panthers seeking the greatest bang for their retirement buck. Numerous mature periodicals post annual “Top Ten Lists.” An entire genre of printed material exists in the Oldies Self-Help section of most book stores. Perhaps low cost has the greatest priority for you but based upon your individual needs, there are a host of other issues to consider. 

Yelapa is an isolated village on the southern shores of Banderas Bay. It can be reached from Puerto Vallarta via a fifty minute water taxi trip (120 pesos/person) or from Boca de Tomatlan via a twenty-five minute bus ride followed by a twenty-five minute water taxi trip (7 pesos bus fare, 60 pesos water taxi/person). There is a seasonal road into Yelapa used primarily to transport building materials; EVERYTHING else must arrive by boat. Transportation contributes to the cost of groceries, building materials, lodging, dining and general living in our village.

I understand the calculus of a magazine’s list where the entries are driven by low property taxes, the availability of a local university, a fully functional library, a major health facility, and the ever popular civic opportunities and volunteer organizations. Yelapa has none of these! 

What Yelapa does offer is an optional healthier life style. You have to elect to participate. I walk wherever I need to go; I have no vehicle expense whatsoever. Twice a day I take Nikki, our English Shepherd, up into the jungle for a break. Two or three times a week I walk to the grocery store. Three or so nights a week I walk to dinner. Nearly every day, I walk down to my kayak rental stand, clean the platform, wash the kayaks, and enjoy the view. While many of the twenty/thirty somethings have motos, the rest of us walk and walk and walk. I have lost ten pounds and feel like I am in better condition than when I was twenty-five years younger. Did I mention that Yelapa has hills? Yes, it is a physical environment and should not be considered for a visit or extended stay by anyone with mobility issues.

Food and beverages just seem to taste better. Pre-fabricated drink mixes are out of the question. Drinks are typically crafted one at a time with fresh ingredients. Fruits, vegetables, poultry, fish, beef and baked goods are fresh. There is a distinct absence of processed foods in the markets.

  

Another post “Rent or Build” discussed the general practice of annual prepaid rents. Depending upon your personal requirements, you could spend from $300 to $1000 per month on rent. Based upon your personal culinary needs you could spend $100 to $500 per month on groceries (wine/liquor excluded). The average dinner out to include one drink, entree and tip would run $20 per person. There is no charge for providing water to your residence although you will wish to purchase bottled water for drinking which runs $2.00/bottle. Electricity is presently subsidized 50% by the electric company, CFE, and will run $40 to $80 every two months. Two land line telephone/internet packages exist which will cost either $35 or $45 per month.Most ex-pats head over to Puerto Vallarta to bank and shop (Costco, Home Depot, Walmart, Sam’s Club, Office Depot, Staples, TelMex) or to attend medical ($40/consultation)/dental appointments ($25/cleaning) once a week or twice a month. Ok, boys and girls, you do the math. Add twenty-five percent and there’s your monthly living cost in Yelapa.  

        

Reality check: From the latter half of November through the end of April, Yelapa is one of the most spectacular sites in the world. The heat/humidity/monsoonal rains roll in from May through October causing most ex-pats to flee to a contra-seasonal spot. Most depart to comfortable climes such as Calgary, Portland, San Diego or Colorado. Having a second/back up residence can certainly add to your costs. Consider approaching your adult children with the announcement that you look forward to re-connecting with them for a six month extended stay each year. It’s payback time folks.

  

Do your homework. If you can live your research project while you are performing it, that’s the best. Remember: you did not marry your partner because of the existence of green eyes alone. Accordingly, do not single data point a decision the size of your retirement location. Also be advised: as of this writing Medicare will not reimburse for medical expenses incurred outside of the United States. Happy travels.  

Yelapa Secret Recipes

If you landed on this posting presuming that you were about to discover the protected recipes of the greatest dinners from each of Yelapa’s dozen or so restaurants, then I have taunted you; and no doubt, I will taunt you again. Recipes requiring two or more ingredients are fiercely guarded. Such has been the case for generations. Daughters and grand-daughters learn from ancient hands and agile minds. Virtually all ingredients are fresh.

Let us explore two “creations” which appear in Yelapan dining establishments and private homes. The first is “café de olla” or simply coffee from the urn. Think camp coffee, and that will give you a rough starting point. Mexico cultivates a vast variety of coffees. Such is true for our contiguous area. Each household selects its preferred coffee bean. There is also an extensive array of both bean and ground coffees available in the grocery outlets in Puerto Vallarta. This hot morning beverage is made with purified water, a predetermined quantity of ground coffee, and an assortment of secret ingredients. It then simmers slowly on the stove.  Some restaurants offer both “café de maquina” (electric coffee maker) and “café de olla.” Try the later. One word of caution: taste the beverage before adding cream and sugar; and avoid swirlng or tipping the cup upside down to get the last drop.

The second of the two creations to explore is “salsa Mexicana,” some of you may know it as “pico de gallo” salsa. This is the quintessential Mexican salsa (it displays the colors of the national flag) made from chopped tomatoes, white onions and green chilies. It is created fresh daily based upon the maker’s assessment of the resident flavor of each ingredient. Every morning the pathways reverberate with the sound of rapid chopping. It is an audible indication that fresh salsa is being prepared. Two considerations here: firstly, try a small amount in advance of slathering it all over your meal. Secondly, this salsa will only appear on the table in the morning. It is considered inappropriate to utilize “salsa Mexicana” on a dinner selection—something akin to putting ketchup on your mahi-mahi.

Traveling invites opportunities for gastronomic experimentation. Push just beyond your comfort zone. And lastly, when visiting Yelapa, delete everything you thought you knew about “Mexican” food. Once you do, you will be exposed to sights, smells and tastes you never dreamed possible. Buen Provecho!!

Retiring in Yelapa--Rent or Build

Note: This is the first in a collection of posts to discuss the realities of retiring to Yelapa, or any other remote village in the world for that matter. This topic would appear to be out of sequence, but such is the freedom allowed the writer (me). These ramblings will be inserted periodically amidst the anecdotes which arise from daily life in our village.

Only certain families are able to own property in Yelapa. However, you may build on another person's land and/or rent for a multi-year period. No classified ads exist to identify available properties. It is all by word of mouth. If you are interested in pursuing this issue, alert your lodging host prior to arrival and ask for guidance.  In advance, identify your annual budget and cash available to make repairs/upgrades. A move or building project will always cost more than you anticipate; that’s a fact! Allow a twenty-five per cent over ride. Rents/lease payments are generally paid annually in advance.

Building in Yelapa is expensive. Everything (brick, concrete, rebar, windows, tile, paint, appliances, furniture, fixtures, etc.) must be brought in by panga. Each time someone handles/touches your materials, there are costs. (Review  Transportation Costs at the end of the post.) These costs are difficult to estimate. Accept the mantra that “this is not the (the name of your country) and the associated mantra “Do not spend more on a project than you can walk away from.” Two must reads for those considering building in a foreign country are Jack Smith’s God and Mr. Gomez and John Mole’s It’s All Greek to Me!: A Tale of a Mad Dog and an Englishman, Ruins and Retsina. 

Costs, completion time, manner of payment, renter/landlord responsibilities, ability to sub-lease and follow-up work, among others, should be detailed in writing (both in your home language and Spanish) in advance. Be sure to address the issue of funding during the build out. Do you wish to be personally involved during the process, or will you fund from afar based upon evidence of performance, and how will that payment take place, are all issues to address. Lastly, establish the builder’s fee for performing and supervising the work.   Nobody works for free.

If you are committed to creating a place of your own, consider an extended stay first. That grants you the opportunity to experience first-hand: weather changes, traffic, noise, access, proximity to shopping and departing transportation. Relocation is a huge event; it is not an extended vacation. Distinguish between the two.    

If you elect to rent an existing space, then the event becomes slightly less complicated. Chances are you will wish to perform some improvements. Once those come into the picture, then virtually all of the items mentioned above apply. Likewise, consider an extended stay in your selected site. Then spend time in other areas around town. There are distinct differences among the four colonies. Barking dogs, crowing roosters and screaming children can tarnish the sheen of any dream house. Renter be aware!

Contracts to rent/build range from oral to attorney prepared. Typically, by working with your landlord (through an interpreter if necessary) you can identify the issues. Keep it simple, Yelapans are not litigious sorts. At the end of the day, you want a spot you can enjoy and share with others. Be prepared that settling in and sorting out may take you the better part of the first year. Good luck, buenas suerte!!!!

Transportation Fees

The concept is difficult for some foreigners to grasp. I have witnessed ugly conversations between renters and their builders as the renter is certain that he is being “ripped off” via this black hole called “transportation fees.” Stateside, we engage a building contractor to complete an improvement. We sign a contract for a specific amount. Materials are purchased, delivered and consumed all within the cost parameters of that contract.

Allow me to approach the Yelapan version via an example. Building materials are purchased from a supply outlet located in Boca de Tomatlan, a forty minute panga ride away.  Materials are carried out the door to a spot on the beach (fee); a panga is sent from Yelapa and the materials are loaded (fee); all or part of the transporting panga is used for your materials (fee); the materials arrive in Yelapa and unload onto the beach (fee); pack mules or someone with a moto and a trailer load the materials and bring them to the job site (fee). All of these “fees” are paid in cash, no receipt. Depending on the material requirements of your job, this process may be repeated a dozen or more times. No one is being ripped off; it is just a different system. Transportation fees arise whenever your materials are “transported” from point A to point B; you get the idea, right?

Yelapa is indeed a special place. It is not however, for everyone. Life here is physically demanding. Summer heat and humidity can be oppressive. Most Northerners flee to cooler climes, although there are some who remain. Do your homework and always carry a flashlight at night.

Feel free to contact me (billrisdon@gmail.com) if you have specific questions.

Memo