Puzzlement

I am approaching the mid-point of my third year in Yelapa. I willingly adopt most rituals and rhythms. There are a few, however, which continue to befuddle me. Allow me to share one. Each morning with coffee in hand, I scan our little bay. I observe a handful of workers in front of the various beach restaurants all engaged in an identical activity. The event is choreographed with Esther Williams like synchronicity. It is the morning raking of the sand.

Point one in my confusion arises from the issue that the high tides which cycle through during the night, typically level the sand and impart a moist, mirror appearance. This polished state is then altered by professional rakers who etch half-inch deep parallel lines across their assigned frontage. This quasi-meditation garden effect lingers pending the arrival of the first humine or canine who blindly violate the artwork as they pass.   

Point two in my confusion arises from an issue related to the raking. For lack of a better label, I will call it the act of burying the debris. Back to the tides, in addition to the action identified above, several rows of dark organic material will also be deposited the width of the main beach. Each raker meticulously creates small piles of this debris. A shovel is required to carve out the appropriate sized receptacle to hide the material in question. These receptacles are installed ten feet from the existing water line. Now here is the part which puzzles me. High tides will cast the water a minimum of fifteen feet up onto the beach. That means that the contents of each of these receptacles will be opened, returned to the sea and recast upon the shore. This all occurs within the ensuing twelve hours, always has-always will.

The next morning, you guessed it, the Yelapa Olympic Raking Team returns to further hone their talents. It is a puzzlement!

Yelapa Kayak Rentals

Hourly, daily, and weekly rates available. There is also used equipment for sale. Right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Contact Memo @ 322 146 5064 or yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com Happy Paddling!!!

Morning

My morning in Yelapa commences following five electronic beeps emitted by a coffee maker. That serves as Nikki’s signal to arrive at the bed beating her tail forcefully against the frame until my hand reaches through the slit in the netting and plants atop her head. This is our awakening ritual seven days a week. By the time my feet find their respective flip-flops, the birds have already welcomed the new morn for over an hour. The roosters, who appear forever uncertain as to when their chorus should begin, have tuned up since 3:30 a.m. or so and observe a vocal break shortly after sunrise. Nikki is fed, watered, and walked. We return 8ish; I settle into my chair for the first, of two, cups of coffee.

The following event never ceases to amaze me. First a bit of background: Yelapa is the year-round home to twenty or so Great Frigate birds. As their name implies, these are large birds growing nearly three feet in length and with a v- angled wing span of nearly seven feet. Their flawless design has been the inspiration for more than one piece of flying military hardware. They cruise and climb effortlessly for hours almost disappearing from sight. The females, who display a full white breast, a la penguin style, are larger than the males. 

On to the event: before the sun light creeps down the ridgeline into the sea, a lone female frigate bird appears from up the Tuito River and glides the entire perimeter of Yelapa Bay. I replicate this very route daily in my kayak. It consumes nearly an hour of my time while the frigate bird navigates the same distance in but a few moments. She pivots into the center of the bay, vectors 180 degrees and returns up river. The bay is now open. Nearly a dozen hours hence the sun lingers on the ridge line; an identical, if not the same, female frigate bird repeats the ritual. There are no other birds in the sky; she circles, draws a radius to the center and returns up river. The bay is closed.  In the morning, I bid her “buenas dias” with a steaming cup of rich coffee. Each evening, I raise a glass of wine in wonderment. 

Yelapa Kayak Rentals

Hourly, daily, and weekly rates available. There is also used equipment for sale. Right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Contact Memo @ 322 146 5064 or yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com Happy Paddling!!!

Rhythm

At the center of all things physical lies the basic principle of rhythm. Obvious inclusions: seasons, tides, life, migration, sunrise/sunset, moon phases, earth’s trip around the sun and the plethora of constellations observed along the route, etc. Man in his endeavor to imitate and refine the primitive essence of nature invented the clock to create discrete labels such as second, minute and hour. He/she was then forced to craft labels for the recurring nature of successive stints of twenty-four hours, hence, our now existent days of the week. As of this writing, I remain uncertain as to why only seven such units were crafted. Perchance this number depicted the quantity of firewood which could be stored in a cave, or the number of days you wore your toga before it required washing. Perhaps, some reader’s comment will enlighten me.

On the rarest of occasions, typically defined by the label “vacation,” one turns to one’s travel partner and utters, “I’ve lost all track of time. I don’t know what day it is.” It is at this juncture that our reptilian brain has re-engaged. We strip away the man-made labels of time and react to the primitive physical cycles of our cave dwelling cousins. When the outside elements were harsh; you sought shelter. When your body required food or moisture; you went in search of satisfaction. When a potential mate wondered by, you made short grunting noises, offered food and beverage, then retreated to share the interior of your extensive real estate holdings. The approach has changed little over the past ten thousand years. A regional version is practiced here.

In Yelapa, nature’s cycles rule. We experience basically two seasons separated by a forty-five day transition period. Beginning in mid-November and continuing through mid-April, we embrace the season of Drop Dead Gorgeous. May follows and births a heat/humidity transition period dragging us into mid-June. Once there, we are launched into raging humidity, monsoonal rains, and oppressive temperatures. This is the season we refer to as The Great Oppression. Locals honker down, x-pats get the hell out of Dodge (Yelapa).

As I write this piece, I am engulfed by the unnatural rhythms of an chop-saw grinding its way through one inch square pieces of metal. The tool accelerates to a high pitch, decreases rapidly as it encounters resistance, nearly dies only to re-accelerate at the final instant. This is not one of nature’s cycles; it belongs to man. Alas, it is silent once more. Perhaps, my fellow reptiles have ambled off to seek satisfaction of the physical rhythms of sustenance, moisture or to make short grunting noises.

Yelapa Kayak Rentals

We are ready to meet your kayaking needs. Hourly, daily, and weekly rates available. There is also used equipment for sale. Right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Contact Memo @ 322 146 5064 or yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com Happy Paddling!!!       

Kayak vs Horse

In Yelapa, both kayaks and horses transport people and the occasional limited quantity of goods. However, as the operator of Yelapa Kayak Rentals, it is abundantly clear to me that kayaks offer substantial advantages over their four-footed competitors. Here are but a few:

1.    Kayaks require limited storage, can be stacked on top of each other and carried on top of your car.

2.   You need not care (medically) nor feed nor clean up after a kayak.

3.   While kayaking, you are not required to follow the person in front of you. This enhances your view from a hairy butt with a tail, to the surrounding landscape.

4.   Kayaks do not stop to take a dump or emit vaporous clouds of lung collapsing gas.

5.   Kayaks do not need to be chased, bridled and saddled before mounting. 

6.   No specialty clothing is required. As a matter of fact, minimal clothing is appreciated.

7.   When you return to the starting point with a kayak, it does not suddenly bolt for the beach.

8.   After kayaking, no one will ever tell you that you smell like a horse.

9.   While it is possible to fall out of a kayak, it will never bite nor buck you. 

    The list is straight forward. Rarely has an argument been laid out more coherently or cogently. 

 

Commercial Break

Those of you wishing to experience these advantages first-hand need do nothing more than contact Memo @ 322 146 5064 (Yelapa cell) or email at yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com. Right equipment, right price and right on the playita. Happy paddling, memo

Dogs

There is an estimated 1.85 dogs for every man, woman, child and en vitro entity in Yelapa. I deliberately avoided the verb “own” since at any given point, or for a string of successive points over time; it is difficult to tell who actually cares for, tends to or dare I say “owns” a particular dog. No leash law exists so what leashes are employed typically belong to visitors. Some people are seen to carry a leash, but I never quite understood what that accomplished either for the person or their animal. 

I own a dog, Nikki, an English Shepherd. We depart Casa Azul twice daily to attend to her needs. She is leashed prior to departing. The tether is removed once we re-enter the front door. The family below me “owns” three medium-sized dogs. There were four, but alas the old Chihuahua passed on. The remaining three, like all their Yelapan cousins, roam free throughout their territory. Each of them is capable of emitting a loud if not threatening chorus of barking at passing mules, motos (quads), scooters and pedestrians. I have initiated a one-man campaign to voice my disenchantment. In all honesty, it must be stated that several of the household members below me now make token attempts to quiet these three. 

I am not a vengeful person, but last night vengeance was mine. The youngest of the three canines, which also exhibits the loudest bark and behaves in the most aggressive manner, was sprayed by a skunk. Now Mexican skunks spray a similarly acrid scent but it is ever so slightly different; perhaps occasioned by a diet of papaya leaves and poblano chile. Once the incident occurred, the dog shared its discomfort by rocketing through the open front door of the adjacent dwelling. At that instant, all hell broke loose. The dog was ultimately corralled, restrained and attached to a tree where it proceeded to vocalize its predicament. 

The resident family spent the ensuing three hours on the street in front of their home, bidding “buenas noches” as polite travelers extracted their noises from protective hoodies when they passed.

Fortunately, the prevailing breeze was such that Casa Azul was upwind. By ll:30 pm, I could stand no more. I dozed off to the muted shuffle of foot traffic followed by much fatigued voices echoing “buenas noches.” 

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

The Plumber

I discussed in an earlier post my ineptitude regarding home repairs. There is no need to reiterate said prostration. Today, I needed a plumber. There is one chap I prefer, we will call him “N.” I spoke with N two days ago and  set a tentative appointment for Monday morning. Monday morning comes and goes, no N. I call into play the rules of i-s-h (review an earlier posting for detailed discussion). Tuesday morning, N appears tools in hand ready to roll.

I discuss with him in rather graphic anatomical detail that my continued manhood is at risk if this problem is not resolved prior to my wife’s arrival Friday. He nods in consummate understanding. Now N is somewhat unique, even in Yelapa, in that he neither carries nor owns a cell phone. He is only available through his home number, a land line. If he has departed for the day, then one must leave a message. It is both a simplistic and simultaneously brilliant strategy. He cannot be disturbed once he departs the open portal of his front door. 

N sets to work at the defined task. Nikki growls disenchantment from her boxed captivity. I work on the computer. Numerous sighs, groans, and inaudible words escape from my bathroom. N emerges, alerts me to his departure and disappears for nearly an hour. He reappears, mood slightly elevated and returns to the identified arena. Ten minutes later he beckons. In detail, I am alerted to the fact that the commode has been totally and incorrectly installed. (This isn’t starting off well). He discloses two options: 1) create a concrete lip and base upon which the commode will now sit—hopefully this will seal the leak; 2) extract the tile from the wall behind and move the toilet back the requisite distance. I choose option number one. He reacts and departs roughly a half hour later. As he leaves, almost Lone Ranger style, he is heard to say “I’ll return between five and six this evening to check on things.” I respond “ok.”

Siesta time arrives and is observed. I arise. Five o’clock ticks away, followed by five thirty. At 5:59pm exactly, there is a knock on my front door. N enters; passes to the area of concern; grunts approval and declares “todo bien” (all is well). My bill for an hour’s work, plus a return trip amounted to 200pesos ($17.50 USD). I love Yelapa.

My wife will never know—unless she reads this blog before departing San Diego. N departed stating that my manhood should remain intact. I expressed my sincere appreciation.