Will you be my friend?

Every so often I obsess about analyzing a long list of facts or figures. Perhaps it is some hemoglobin globule which courses within my body; some molecular remnant of a two and a half decade career in finance. I have no idea. I can state that this statistical steroid kicked in a few days ago. For some time, I have incubated several questions regarding the demographics of my Face Book “friends.” Three hours after experiencing this relapse, I had a spreadsheet before me begging for analysis. Fast forward yet another hour, and a blog posting was germinating.

Life in Yelapa is uncomplicated for the most part. The village enjoys electrical power and phone service. Cell connections in  the majority of spots are good, and high-speed (???) internet is available through TelMex. We, like our more material big city cousins, draw on all the same means to “stay in touch.” This bird walking brings me back to my good friend Mark Zuckerman and his creation, Facebook.

I have held a Facebook presence since 2008. During that time, I accumulated seventy-three friends ranging in age from thirteen to ninety, a span of nearly four generations. It is this very range which fostered my curiosity as to whether the different ages accumulated friends in differing numbers. The table which follows summarizes my data. There were a few findings which surprised me: 1) how even my number of friends was across the ages from 20 to 60. Not surprisingly, the greatest concentration of friends is my own age. 2) once you exclude the extremes, virtually all age groups exhibit similar numbers of friends. There is a spike in the 40-50 range requiring a second look at the group’s make up. 3) I have less than half as many friends as my peers. (some of you are not surprised) and most importantly, 4) IF everyone of my friends shared the Yelapa Memo Blog with everyone of their friends, than more then twenty thousand people would benefit from receiving my posts. Now that would be impressive.

      

Adventures with Teo-Update

Allow me to introduce the group’s technical advisor. Her name is Erin Sorenson. She is an absolute master (mistress) at commanding her Macbook Air to whirl. Erin’s responsibility is to artistically blend text, illustrations, transitions, create covers, merge book lists and all other sorts of bits into a workable manuscript. She manages to craft each edition into a stunning piece of art. We are fortunate to have her as part of the Teo Group. She is presently returning to her native Chicago, so I have granted her the balance of the week off. Saturday morning we re-convene.  

I am considering setting up a separate FaceBook page for the Adventures with Teo. Along with project updates, the page would feature the actual book covers once the manuscript is complete, perhaps even a preview. Information regarding release dates, pre-orders and future editions would also be available. I would appreciate your feedback. Thank you.

Commercial Break

Yelapa Kayak Rentals right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Call Memo to check availability 322 146 5064 (Yelapa cell), yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com or ask you lodging manager for assistance. Happy Paddling.  memo

Bring out your dead!

Casa Azul occupies the fourth floor of a large concrete block building. The remaining three levels house a clan of the largest family in Yelapa. On any given day, there is never a shortage of great-grandparents, grandparents, sons, daughters and a plethora, or two, of grandchildren. None of the later has the remotest concept regarding noise creation, sustaination, avoidation or abatation (work with me). Wrought iron doors are flung shut at warp speed two dozen times per day. Children in steel toed combat caliber flip flops run free-range within the building’s cuddling confines. Lastly, a trio of vociferous canines serenades the populace 24/7. It is a cacophony of auditory dissonance. Intermittently, I have discretely introduced the concept that “less is better.” We actually seemed to be making progress.

Today, “the family” took it to a whole new level. Suddenly, a tempest of teenagers burst out of the street level residence. Each was armed with a drum, cow bell, tambourine, or cow horn. As if individually liberated by their exodus, they spontaneously broke into unbridled creativity with their musical devices. The reality for those of us within a hundred meters in either direction is that the collective dissonance emitted was tantamount to playing a Miles Davis compact disc in reverse.

Upon further research, I determined that this roaming band of musicians (???) was actually touring the village offering their talents (???) to extricate negative spirits from households during Holy Week. For some sliding fee based upon square footage and possible number of hiding places for spirits, this group would enter your domicile drums ra-ta-ta-ting, cow bells clunking, tambourines tinkling, and one cow’s horn blowing. The resulting melodious (???) mayhem was capable of turning concrete grout into dust within thirty seconds.  Just in passing, they re-extricated the domicile below a total of three times.

Adventures with Teo

The Teo Team is in place with tasks assigned and deadlines established. A few of the editions are expected to be in proof form by the end of this month, April. Six multi-talented readers await the opportunity to review/critique the manuscripts. We are on schedule. I would like to introduce one of the team. Our illustrator is Dianne Risdon, yes, she is my wife. She possesses a degree in art, is a master quilter, a self-taught spinner/weaver, a painter, a fiber artist; a true Renaissance woman. Her illustrations are the heart of the Teo series. Other team members will be introduced in future posts.

Commercial Break

The seas have settled but the sand has not. Yelapa Kayak Rentals right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Call Memo to check availability 322 146 5064 (Yelapa cell), yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com or ask you lodging manager for assistance. Happy Paddling.  memo

Holy Week

It is Monday morning here in Yelapa. The sun beams intensely upon a vacant beach, sailboats waggle their masts at the bellies of Frigate Birds flying overhead, and the tide is out. Nothing different from that which has occurred for millennia. Now, I could just leave it at that but . . . . . . . . no I cannot.

This morning hails the conclusion of the most celebrated three day period in Christendom.   Commencing with Good Friday and culminating with Easter Sunday, billions of Christians worldwide celebrate the holiest of holies. Here in Yelapa, the most outwardly faithful dawn special attire, head gear and reading material. They reassume grave and somber faces which were set on the shelf more than a year ago. The moderately faithful schlepp coolers full of refreshments to enjoy the last family getaway before the oppressive summer heat arrives. Those of us residing in the lowest stanine on the Faithful Scale attempt to maneuver thru/around/past the religious huddled masses who occupy the center ninety-eight percent of all pathways. I am invariably uncomfortable with what to say to a person who suddenly arises from a path side shrine, pivots directly in front of me and then glances up. “Good morning”, “how are you”, or “did you have a pleasant shrine time?” I am never quite sure.

Alas, our little village returns to its usual quiet self. Mothers and fathers, grandparents plus billions and billions of children pile back into similar pangs which ferried them to Yelapa on Friday. Large ice chests once full are empty and less cumbersome to bear. The incidence of giant trash bags departing is significantly less than the number which arrived, signaling that many contained clothing or gifts for Yelapan relatives. The family en masse arrives on the beach and awaits the panga. Once the departees occupy the boat, those ashore commence waving in absolute synchronicity like two legged palm frowns. It is a drama shrouded in ambivalence. This entire ritual will play out again in the coming year. It always has.

Adventures with Teo-Update

I am beyond fortunate to work with an outstanding team of talented individuals. My technical advisor is Erin Sorenson, a native of Chicago and a fellow (???) term visitor to Yelapa. She is merging all of the pieces into an astounding visual literary offering. A major note of appreciation has been communicated to Teo’s mother, who has authorized me to use his name and image. For me, at least, this brings a real heart and soul to this project. Thank you, Mia. My short term goal is to have seven of the first year’s series available for beta reading by the end of this month. The intermediate term goal is to have Series I (twelve books) e-published and available to the public by early November. Film at eleven.

Commercial Break

The seas remain fickle and the rocks remain in evidence. My sand was recently sited swirling around the Marietta Islands. Call me first. Yelapa Kayak Rentals right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Call Memo to check availability 322 146 5064 (Yelapa cell) yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com or ask you lodging manager for assistance. Happy Paddling.  memo

A Day in the Bay

Fact: On balance, the villagers in Yelapa are hard-working, warm and welcoming people.

Fact: Almost daily, luxury yachts worth huge sums venture to Yelapa, spend time and then depart.

Fact: During five months of each calendar year, Yelapa is one of the most beautiful places on earth.

Therefore: I live in a beautiful place, surrounded by warm people and visited by those with immense wealth, right?

As discussed in earlier postings, nothing is manufactured in Yelapa. Long ago, villagers engaged in harvesting coconut oil from coconut palms. Then they shifted to fishing. Now, the only “industry” is tourism; despite the numerous travel books which continue to depict us as “a romantic fishing village.” Perhaps that sells better than stating “a romantic tourist village.” Tourism affords a chunk of the population roughly five months to earn a year’s pay. By May 1 most restaurants close, many lodging sites seal up, and the vast majority of transient pale faces exit stage north. Tourism, unlike the seasonal monsoons, slows to a trickle. Younger males whose backs remain undamaged seek opportunity within the flurry of construction projects. Performing heavy manual labor when it feels like 107 F is daunting to say the least. Alas, I digress.

The other afternoon, an eighty foot luxury yacht pulls into Yelapa Bay and drops anchor in front of my living room window. A quick internet search identifies ten or so such yachts on the world market with their prices ranging from $1.2 to $2.6 million dollars. After observing this boat intermittently for the next hour, two bits of information become evident. Initially, there appears to be a crew of four individuals. They are easily identifiable by their matching polo shirts and shorts. Secondly, the yacht is the private domain of one couple. They are bronze, handsome and mature chronologically. They move among the various platforms with grace and efficiency. They are attended to by the staff with complete professionalism. As the sun sets, the pair retires to the after deck to enjoy wine, snacks and ultimately dinner. Sometime around 10:30 p.m., I detect the sound of an anchor chain as it retracts into stowage. Two substantial engines return to action and push the vessel quietly onward. The yacht departed our little bay leaving no trace of its visit. They were the perfect guests. I wonder if they thought of Yelapa as the perfect host.       

Commercial Break

The seas have been fickle of late. It’s a full moon. Yelapa Kayak Rentals right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Call Memo to check availability 322 146 5064 (Yelapa cell) yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com or ask you lodging manager for assistance. Happy Paddling.  memo

Reflections

It seems mind boggling (or is it blogging?) that roughly one and a half years ago to this day Yelapa Memo, the blog, was created. The focus remains to share the outwardly unrelated anecdotes of village life. Since that October morn long ago, eighty-one postings have garnered nearly 6500 visits from more than a dozen countries. I am humbled and appreciative. To the eighty-five of you who read the first posting “Viva” and have continued with me, your charter blogger cards should be appearing in your email boxes shortly. These may be utilized on the playita (little beach) to guarantee priority launch status at Yelapa Kayak Rentals in the event that there should be a double booking. Perseverance pays.

Further reflection alerts me that I am mid-point in a five year rental agreement. The twelve by four foot bay view which dominates our living room is no less hypnotic today than it was the first time we entered. Hours are lost peering through this giant screen saver as something slowly approaches while another something slowly departs. It is a window of reflection.

Even further reflection reminds me that I am one renewal away from achieving permanent resident (not citizenship) status in Mexico. It is ironic that I carry a green card issued by the Mexican government. Americans are welcomed to reside, albeit there are legal requirements, in Mexico. Mexicans are unwelcomed to reside in the United States. (Unless you are Philipe Calderon, former president, who purchased billions of dollars in US military hardware and was effectively given political asylum to avoid certain death.) Moving on.

Request for Information

In a not too distant blog posting I will discuss opportunities to contribute time/material/money to deserving Yelapa community organizations. If you are involved in such a project, or looking to begin one, please contact me at billrisdon@gmail.com. I would appreciate information regarding your activity’s goals, needs, population served, sustainability, background of key person/people, who benefits ultimately, etc. These are all points which would be addressed in the cover letter of a grant application. This request for information will remain open until mid-May when I will summarize and feature the various activities. Jump on this opportunity.

Allow me to be the first to remind you that Christmas is just around the corner. Question: How do you live on a round sphere and then say such things as something is “just around the corner?” Answer: Gee, I never thought of it that way. For those of you who are the proud/accidental parents of young children, for those of you who know someone with young children, for the grandparents who want their grandchild/dren to have every opportunity, aunts and uncles, neighbors, teachers and my personal favorite---Youth Librarians have I got just the deal for you. I am currently in the throes of e-publishing a series of children’s (ages 3-7) books based on a young boy’s daily adventures here in Yelapa. Each adventure is twelve pages long. Each page is filled with a colorized picture of the action discussed. The books are written in a dual-language format, English and Spanish. This will be available by November just in time for online shopping for Christmas ‘14. The series is called The Adventures of Teo. Future blog posts will devote a small thread of updated information to this project. Stay tuned.

Commercial Break

The seas have been fickle of late. Yelapa Kayak Rentals right equipment, right price, right on the playita (little beach) under the giant fig tree. Call Memo to check availability 322 146 5064 (Yelapa cell) yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com or ask your lodging manager for assistance. Happy Paddling.  Memo

This week's news

Good morning to all! There’s a patchy clouded sky with pleasant breezes blowing. This morning at something approximating 2:00 a.m., Mexico crawled across the threshold into day light savings time. Early attendance at Ray’s Place for birria was sparse, but will no doubt see a late morning surge as eyes open and feet search for flip-flops. Few villagers wear watches. Across the bay froth bathes and then recedes from the eastern shoreline. Sea swells are entering from due west. Water taxi passage out will be smooth, but the return is bound to bounce. Nature rules in Yelapa, not the moving hands on a dial.

Friends rejoin their Yelapa roosts. Aline and Bill are back from a near month in Santa Barbara; Erin arrives Tuesday having endured Chicago’s winter from hell; Tamara and John will shortly jet away from the weather foibles of Fairbanks. There will be much eating, drinking and laughter; there always is. Alas, for those of you curious about my dear wife, she remains lovingly entrenched as the primary care provider for granddaughter, Reese. Our orbits will intersect late July.

The end of April registers a reduction in visitor traffic. The resulting trickle trails into June. Once the rains arrive, a few Mexican nationals and Americans with families venture across Banderas Bay. They will experience the gifts of a quiet village. Locals will begin the six month rationing of two precious resources: time and money. Pangas, white bellies up, festoon the beach to await seasonal repairs and repainting. Construction greets each morning and drones until sunset imparting repairs to rental units or expansion on family homes. It is a time of renewal. (That is code for noise, humidity and heat.) Any down time is spent in a friend’s panga fishing. Summer rains also bring in the big fish: tuna, dorado, red snapper. Freezers must be filled.

Nikki, our English shepherd, and I plan a late July departure north to San Diego. It is a time of renewal. (Same word, different code. This implies periodic cycling amongst the in-laws and re-establishing tenuous truces with two pair of resident canines.) For the past year or so, I have written a series of dual language, English and Spanish, books for children. Each book portrays a real boy’s real adventure here in Yelapa.  The narrative, English on one page with Spanish on the opposing page, will appear over a water color illustration supporting the action discussed. Each adventure runs twelve pages. By November 1, my goal is to have the first twelve adventures ready for e-publishing in advance of the Christmas season. The intended audience, either English or Spanish, roams from the pre-reader thru second grade. My artistic assistant/illustrator on this task is my partner/mate Dianne. The rich water color derivatives are made from actual photographs. Each book will have twelve distinct illustrations based upon local scenery. Taken collectively, they could become an artistic travelogue for future visitors.

Commercial Break

The presence or lack of sand changes daily. I will not schedule a launch when I have safety concerns for either the equipment or the clients. Please contact Yelapa Kayak Rentals by phone: 322 146 5064; email: yelapakayakrentals@gmail.com; or ask your lodging host to call on your behalf. Right equipment, right price, right under the giant fig tree on the playita (little beach). Happy Paddling!!! Memo

Retiring in Yelapa--Will I be safe?

Safety and security should be discussed, and early on. There exist perhaps one hundred and fifty ex-pats or repeat long-term visitors who not only feel safe in Yelapa, but who acknowledge that they feel safer here than they do from wherever they departed. Puerto Vallarta is a city of nearly one quarter of a million inhabitants. The airport on any given day during the high season will process more than eight thousand passengers. Now, those are significant numbers. In contrast, Yelapa has neither cars nor airport, and “processes” perhaps one hundred visitors per day. The bulk of these limit their stay to a few hours.

The Gato Institute (spoiler alert, I’m about to get creative) has identified that your chances of experiencing felonious activity here in Yelapa are less probable than your life being snuffed by an errant descending coconut. Unsubstantiated accounts worldwide place the annual frequency of that event around 15,000 times versus a worldwide population of 7,000,000,000. You do the math!

Tell any family member living outside of your direct household that you are planning a trip to Mexico and be prepared to defend your current, as well as historical sanity. What about the murders, drugs, kidnapping, squalor etc. etc. etc.? Turn to them calmly and ask if they are familiar with similar issues in the zip code in which they currently reside. Do a little homework and then unload the salient data. End of conversation. Unless they are life-long devotees of FIX NEWS and then they will dispute the source of your data (Bureau of Labor Statistics, FBI).

Let us return to Yelapa. A feeling of safety and security should not be an excuse to relinquish your logic or intelligence. You would not scatter your valuables in full view in any hotel room in the States, why would you do it here?  Many local lodging managers have installed security boxes or have a common safe available for your items, most of which should have remained at home in the first place. Dining and entertaining here is an exercise in casual. Leave the “glam” at home, those are the people you bought it for anyway, right? When you stroll the streets of Yelapa appearing to have exited Neiman Marcus followed by a quick dash through Tiffany’s, you’ll only look foolish. If you stroll the streets of any large city in the world sporting the regalia mentioned above, then you’re establishing yourself as a target. Gender has no bearing.

Physical safety is no less important than your personal security. I repeatedly alert visitors that Yelapa is not a destination for anyone with mobility or respiratory issues. Paths are constructed of concrete and rounded river rock. A small dose of sand renders the dry surface slick. An extended walk will require that you summit one or multiple hills. Rental properties owe spectacular views to the fact that they have fifty, or more, steps to ascend prior to unlatching your front door.

Keep your wits about you whenever or wherever you travel. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation back home, you retire to safety, ditto for when you travel. You ventured to Yelapa to enhance your list of great experiences. Avoid some personal lapse of intellect which allows your friends to gush a giant “I told you so.”