Yelapa Bound

My neighbor suggests  that once you arrive in Yelapa, you should turn your watch/clock back thirty years. I would urge you to be more radical. While awaiting the water taxi, remove all instruments which track time (watch, cell phones, electronic planners, sun dials, etc.) and stow them until the morning of your departure.  During the balance of your stay seek to embrace the following: the sun will alert you as to the arrival of the morning or its absence to the onset of night; your stomach will communicate when it requires input; and your throat will advise you when it desires drink. What else do you need to know? There are no dinner reservations in Yelapa. The only activity which is remotely choreographed by time is the water taxi schedule. I removed my watch a year ago November and wore it only during my recent return to Gringolandia—a culture obsessed with the identification/ tracking/wasting of time.

Allow me to infuse a word regarding expectations; actually several words.  Those of you who are “A” type personalities will have researched each of the nearly one hundred lodging opportunities, dozen or so restaurants, and various activities; visited, re-visited and printed reviews from TripAdvisor  and even, oh please tell me not,  purchased the Yelapa movie (Which way, por favor?)  Others venture here, especially those from the Portland area, simply on the recommendation of a friend, a hair-dresser, or a travel agent. The last category of trekkers are the hardy hiker types. They shlep huge strap bearing containers on their backs. Leap off the water taxi at the main beach and in five minutes are consuming the good, albeit basic, life in the shadow of a pitched techno-tent.  Over the following few hours, each group will incubate uniquely diverse expectations. My point is that no amount of research can prepare you for the sound of the wind blowing through the Parthenon, or the scent inside the Sistine Chapel or the rush you feel when your water taxi captain opens the throttle. The less fettered by expectations, the greater your experience. Just a thought.   

Let’s talk about stuffing your bag. My comments relate only to your stay in Yelapa. If you are visiting other destinations, you’re on your own. Hopefully, your visit with us will not be any shorter than three days. Having said that, bring three tops, three pair of under-alls, one pair of khaki shorts, one swim suit, a pair of flip-flops dedicated for inside only, and a pair of Teva-type sandals for outside only. The distinction will become apparent upon your arrival. Sunblock (30 SPF) and deet laden bug spray. This list is gender neutral. That’s pretty much it. If your good fortune involves a stay of a week or more, simply add one to each of the items listed. Either wash your own soiled wear mid-stay or drop it off in the morning at Ley’s Laundry for pick-up that afternoon. If you plan on bringing a laptop with you, place a medium sized garbage bag into the case. Cover the case prior to departing on the water taxi. Note:  None of the locals care about how fabulous the visitors appear, only that they appear appropriately.

How much to tip is always an issue for Americans. In general, we tip too much which communicates that we all reside in a gated community called The Seven Cities of Cibola. Tipping for meals runs 10%-15%. Dinner maybe upwards of 20% if you have enjoyed excellent service and superior food. All waiters on the main beach, as well as most of those in town work for tips, that’s it.  Luggage bearers with their wheelbarrows, are available if you desire,  at the town pier. Depending on the size and number of your bags, 10p-20p per bag is a guideline. There are no ATMs or cash windows in Yelapa. While a few restaurants are now accepting credit/debit cards, cash is your best bet. There are ATMs (cajeras) all over Puerto Vallarta including at the airport. With current exchange rates around 13:1, 5000 mx pesos will equal close to $400 USD.  Many locals will accept USDs but exchange them at 10:1 to keep the math easy. (i.e. 100 mx p equals $10 USD). Alert your credit/debit card company that you will be traveling and using your cards in Mexico. This will avoid generating a fraud alert and a lock out on your card. An event which can take days to unwind and untold roaming charges. I speak from experience.

Yelapa is a village of working people. During this time of the year, the vast majority work toward imparting to you, their guest, the most gracious experience they can. The village is not a high end, all inclusive resort, never will be. Locals will greet you with their eyes, and respond with a smile to any utterance remotely resembling “hola” or “buenos dias.” Leave your “other world” behind, after all it was Yelapa you came to experience, right?

Commercial Break: (The camera closes in on a rainbow collage of kayaks. A bronzed Adonis reclines under an umbrella, a frosty water in his hand.)

(he speaks:) “ Hola, I’m Memo and I run a kayak and water sports rental operation at the Playita. We offer single/double kayaks, boogie boards, and soon-to-be a pair of paddle boards. All are available to you, our visitor, for your recreational pleasure. (camera fades , the lapping of small waves crescendos) Yep that’s me, except the Adonis part—the producer added that  !!!

Off to birria.