Happy New Year

This New Year’s resolution thing has me in a quandary. First off, I have never been one to identify such items despite prodding from my mother, then later from a wife, then an employer and finally the ever popular push by friends. My partner, Dianne, will readily acknowledge that I am list averse in general. So called resolutions are simply a form of specialized list. Such items as loose ten pounds, stop smoking, listen to my spouse, spend more time with my kids, and keep my home office clean and organized are simply rosters of things we have not done for years and which will remain undone a year down the road. When it gets down to any meaningful alteration in behavior, the human animal becomes reptilian.  That’s to say that only the resident organism will make a change when he (masculine pronoun deliberately chosen) decides to do so. No prodding, chiding or goading by others will cause an iota of variance. Moving further down the opinionated road of supposition, might this concept alone account for our high rate of relationship collapses? Let us be honest, we choose a partner because of their positive attributes. The negative ones, we figure we will alter over time-------but we can’t. People aren’t items you purchase off the rack and take home with the intention of accessorizing them. What you have standing before you, with minor exceptions, is pretty much what you’re gonna get.

Of late, a second issue has crept onto my annoyance stage. It is the issue of “paying your respects” to a dead person. I live in a culture which is hobbled with respect paying. Every shrine, church or tree trunk bearing a resemblance to a cross must be stopped in front of, head bowed, something muttered and some form of self-crossing. I genuinely question if this is less a sign of individual piety than it is more one of conspicuous performance. (That should make me popular.) In one of my household’s favorite movies, Waking Ned Devine, a lead character eulogizes a departed friend and makes the following comment: “Wouldn’t it be great if you could attend your own funeral to hear what people had to say about you?” Depending on your personal belief pool, this may or may not be possible. For some absolutely riveting reading, do research into the historical evolution of the funeral. The departure from a festive celebration of a completed life over to the dollar denominated, guilt driven ritual which enriches a multi-billion dollar industry is easy to track. Alas, I digress. Back to the respect issue; would it not be better to “pay respect” to an individual every time you encounter them in life. If you have earnestly engaged someone throughout the tenure of your relationship, then what is it that you still need to “pay” after they are dead? I don’t get it.

Now granted, the above paragraphs depart dramatically in tone from the cascade of New Year’s well-wishers flooding the media (Prez Obama, Pope Francis, Prez Putin, Kim Jong Un). Perhaps my suppressed gaiety springs forth as the result of four gray days of endless rain. I resolve to do better.